Time and time again I re-commit to myself that I will consistently blog. Just like a new year’s resolution that remains good only for the first few weeks of the year, my journey with renewing my blogging vows has met the same fate. And yet, writing for me is something of a catharsis. It’s a cleansing process that allows for my thoughts to be sifted and my rationality to be regained. It allows for my emotions to be laid out bare under the sun and to be scrutinized with critical eyes.
After years of consistent blogging, I became jaded and thought, quite foolishly I guess, that I should earn from it. And hence resorted to reading on countless tips and tricks of the trade. But doing so led me to curtail my own writing sense; led me to think and think and think… and think.. and think.. and never quite act. And so I go back – to the roots of why I have even begun blogging.
And that is to have an outlet – an outflow of the thoughts constantly plaguing my mind; of the emotions tumbling around my heart – and try to make sense if not air – them all out.
Writing is much like taking a picture. The things I write now are a reflection of where I am – how I think; how I feel. At times I am ashamed of the reality so I try to hide them – behind password protected posts that only trusted individuals can read or even worse, behind private posts that only me can read. But several years down the road, as I go back to each and every post, I began to see, much like when I go through old photos – the beauty of the moments captured in words. And I regain the courage to publish them – publicly – for the world to see. After all, the seasons have passed. The pain so carefully hidden have healed. And all that is left are the beautiful words for everyone to read, draw inspiration from or have a glimpse to my past.
I have always been accused of being public. Hence my desire to hide. But reading back on all the hidden posts that have built this blog, I felt it such a waste of space to let them remain hidden. So here I am, taking a bold step, of putting them up for the public to view. How long will my bravado last? Only time will tell.
And it’s not even as if there are hordes of people reading my blog these days. My blogger friends have long since passed after I have taken a very long hiatus from the blogosphere. But the words remain. The effect they have remain.
And so, I re-commit again to blog. Let’s see how faithful I am this time.