For two weeks, he hasn’t contacted me. For two weeks, I’ve been hurt and in pain. In that two weeks, I’ve been slowly moving on. Last night, we saw each other and talked. He wanted to patch things up. He wanted for us to get back together. I tried to tell him the many things I realized I didn’t like about the relationship. It was either he didn’t understood me or I didn’t communicate properly. Because it seems nothing has changed.
I should have written down the many reasons I realized as to why we wouldn’t work out. He told me he was finally ready to settle and he wants me to be that girl. That I was perfect for him. But I found myself disagreeing. I maybe perfect for him but he is not for me.
Can I have intellectual conversations with him? I think not. Intellectual would be the kind I have with my guinea pigs and my HPs. Conversations that discuss various points of view about life; conversations that are full of positivity without getting too idealistic. Conversations that extend for hours because you just love the exchange of ideas.
I don’t think we would work out because he makes me feel unvalued, unappreciated and unworthy. He says I’m perfect but the way he criticizes is biting.
I don’t think we would work out because he can’t seem to listen. I don’t think he even realizes how hurt I had been. Or even acknowledges that he had his fault in the breakup. I don’t even think he said sorry.
We wouldn’t work out because he doesn’t know how to be thoughtful. And I have to wring my hands in frustration when the woman in me longs to be wooed and it doesn’t happen.
We wouldn’t work out because he can’t seem to be happy for me and what I achieve. He seems to be so fixated on his seemingly ill fortune he can’t be happy for the success of others. Neither does he take action for the fulfillment of his own success.
And simply, we wouldn’t work out because the love has slowly ebbed away. And I just have to make that decision to let him go.
If he wants me back, he has to prove it and earn it. We just couldn’t go back to the way things were.