I wonder how some people have the strength to close down their blogs after years of having it as a companion. I have always derived comfort from writing my thoughts. I have always felt as if I have too many things to say, even if I really don’t want to say them. Don’t mistake me though for someone who doesn’t like to listen. Friends have always found a listening ear and sound advice from me, right? 😀 But the flow of words in my mind is really something that just constantly flows, never stopping. Sometimes I wonder if it is a curse. Then again, I’ve come to accept it.
I have accepted that not all of my internal thoughts could be put into writing. The words are just too many, the thoughts too fast and the medium not always available. For the last couple of days, ideas upon ideas swept my head; words upon words passed through my mind. Yet I had no urge to write them down. I drowned in the words. I embraced their flow as one does to a comforting cool breeze. Yet I resisted the urge to capture all of them and write them down. I don’t know where that was suppose to lead me. I don’t know if that was suppose to be some exercise of trying to stem my thoughts into crevices in my brain that I could revisit for later. I don’t know to what end that would have achieved.
But I do know that I had never quelched the passion for writing. It is there. Forever a part of me. Even during the moments when I watched episode after episode of favorite anime series or when I consumed my free time playing Facebook games – those times when I tried to deny myself writing thinking that I should start blogging more about so and so issues and not personal ones. *shakes head* Writing will always be a part of me.
And all it took for me to fully realize all of this was the post of someone I’ve considered a blog pal wherein he said he was leaving the blogosphere. I guess I should be expanding my blog network – visiting more blogs. I’ve grown comfortable in a very small niche of bloggers and I feel extremely sad that one of them is leaving.