Breaking Free — Soon

I need some life outside work. Something that will boost me up or make me see the multi-facets of the life I am living. I need to be able to have a life outside what I do, not to be too engrossed with where I am and to be free of the shackles that work forcibly binds me to. Even though most of my waking time is consumed by my job, I must not be consumed by it. Even if I get to do nothing else most of the time because of the nature of the work that I do, I must still force myself, try my very best to break free of its clutches.

When I was a student I thought that working will allow me the freedom I have dreamed of. When I was a student I thought working will give me the time to do the things I really want to do. Now I see that I was wrong. Being a student already gave me all the freedom that I had or wanted in life. I was just bogged down by projects and exams but apart from that I get to join organizations wherein I got to explore myself and hone my skills and abilities. I was even able to travel to various places because of my activities. When I was a student, my social network expanded to immeasurable proportions and I got to interact with a lot of people from all possible walks of life – from the poorest of the poor, like kids in an illegal settlement in UP to the old rich of Philippine society like Mrs. Judy Araneta. I got to experience life for what it was really like – how to live amongst the poor and how to move alongside the rich. When I was a student, I had a life.

PrisonNow I am working. I am earning my own bucks and making my own way in the world. Unfortunately, I am also not living the life I wanted; the life I thought of or imagined. I feel more than ever that I am imprisoned in a life bounded by very strict and stringent walls. And where there is nowhere else I could turn to except to get out the door. I desperately want to take the exit, while I am still able to see it – to go out in the open fields and experience freedom again like I’ve used to. Sadly, I am not at liberty to do that – YET. I have no doubts that once I get the green light to flee, I will flee. I will leave this prison I have gotten myself into – to enter another prison? I sure hope not. I want to leave and forever remain in the freedom the meadow offers. I know I can make it out there.

It is scary to live in the open meadows – unsure what would happen next, uncertain when the next meal would be. As much as imprisonment sounds dull and boorish, it still affords security – security of shelter, of food, of provision. Yet in life, or in my life, there are needs greater than security. Needs greater than basic provisions. If only I could get the green light for these things, there is no doubt that I will pursue the higher needs – needs of self-fulfillment like Maslow said.

But for now, I must content myself with this prison I am in. The meadow is always there on the other side. So long as I can hear the birds chirping, feel the rays of the sun shining through, smell the fragrance of the dew-stained grass, I will remain at ease; at peace that the meadow is still there, waiting for me.

Author: elleica

Jesus Lover. Writer. Blogger. Biologist turned marketer. Child of Learning. Thrill Seeker. I long for my next adventure.

4 thoughts on “Breaking Free — Soon”

  1. I think it’s quite common for us to be idealistic when we were still younger. Akala natin madaling makakita ng trabaho na gusto talaga natin, given the proper education. Akala natin madaling kumita ng pera at madaling yumaman. Hindi pala.

    It makes me appreciate all my parent’s efforts.

    Like

    1. Oo nga. Hindi pala talaga. Good for you that your parent’s made all the best efforts. Makes me wish mine had too. But then again, there’s a lesson to be learned in everything.🙂

      Like

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