mood swings and mean sides

Dahil sabi nila, at sabi ko, na ang blogs ay paraan ng pag-express ng mga saloobin at hindi dapat na-ce-censor di kaya ng ibang paraan ng komunikasyon, hayaan nyong ipakita ko ang malupit na aspeto ng aking pag-uugali. OO mabait akong tao. Pero minsan baliw din ako at nagiging mapanglait. Ewan. Gusto ko lang siguro manlait. O mamintas. O baka lumalabas lang ang pagka-masama ko. Dapat nga hindi ko to i-popost at gud lak na lang kung ma-post ko man to.

At dahil this is one moment of insanity in my end; a moment wherein I deviate from all norms of my thinking; then pardon my irregular and informal use of language. If I switch from Pilipino to English and vice versa pardon me. And if you know me personally, that is you will see me any time soon, please refrain from talking to me about what you read here. You see I hate it when people will try to censor what I write. Heck! There was this girl who could point blank curse in her blogs and no one censors her for it. I will not curse in my blogs. That is not who I am. It’s just that I also have a mean side to me. I am no angel. I know I am a work in process though. Yet there are times when we have to unleash the evil in us to get rid of it. And maybe that is what I am doing now.

In any case, I have been an anti-social person at work. In the sense that I do not like social functions like all the apparent school-like activities like theme days or talent nights or programs or even sports fests! I have had my fill of such activities when I was in school. I am sick of it! Totally! I have been a constant participant and organizer of numerous events that to see them at work makes me gall. How I wish it was my day off during such occasions. The reason I loved the morning shift so much was not really because I could have a normal bio clock but because I get to have the whole site to my own. We are the only account with a morning shift and as such the number of people at the site is next to zero. It was lovely taking your breaks alone – in silence – punctuated only by the occasional chirping of birds. During the night shift, there are a lot of people and when you take your break, you are never alone. It is never quiet.

And so today was Hawaiian-theme day and finals night of the American-Idol inspired singing competition. I have nothing against the organizers or the participants. It’s just that I know the events could be further improved – based on my numerous experiences with the matter. But then I am not complaining. For if I was to complain, knowing myself, the next thing I know is I am the heart of it – fixing the item or factor I was complaining about. You see when I see the reason to complain, that means that to my opinion there is something that can be improved and what I do is I look for the solution or the manner to improve that. And again, I can only shake my head as I watch the numerous number of people in the pantry that time, participating as audiences. I guess I am really too serious for a person. This is after all their idea of a break from the routine of work.

I have a different idea. How I wish that given the upcoming elections there would be forums or debates or discussions as to who should be the next leader of the country or what reforms the country would need or what kind of a leader should we vote for. How I wish that there would be some sort of propaganda introducing us to the numerous aspirants for various political positions. And then sometimes I think there are other great activities that we could have, maybe. But then again, I do not want to dwell further on the thought. Because knowing me, if I am utterly convinced that something is a good idea, I will not rest till I get to implement it.

He said I liked to complain. Well maybe I do. But I also want to resolve things. I complain because there is something that does not meet my expectations. Yet I see to it that when I complain, I do something to remove whatever it was that caused me to complain. Tsk. This is hard core blogging. Why am I back to blogging in my outlook? Because I cannot talk to him. Tsk. I don’t feel like talking to my other blogs. OR blog since there is only one that is in there.

I am having mood shifts. To think that I am so pretty today. And the senior manager even took my picture because they apparently thought I conformed to the Hawaiian inspired theme. But then I did not. I just thought I’d dress up today – my own style.

Author: elleica

Jesus Lover. Writer. Blogger. Biologist turned marketer. Child of Learning. Thrill Seeker. I long for my next adventure.

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