There are moments when all neurons die down and much as we want to orchestrate something, to provide opinion about something, to think about something or to simply do something (with our minds), we can’t.
We are at a lost what to do, what to say, what to think. We scream internally at the seemingly lack of activity. No neural pathways being created. Nothing.
I know now what drives Sherlock Holmes mad. I now know what leads him to inject cocaine and any other stimulant up his nerves. This inactivity is draining me. It is driving me mad. It is making me lose all sensibilities. All practical sensibilities.
In the recent town hall meeting, the country manager said, THIS is not our life. THIS SHOULDN’T be our life. I do my best to have a life apart from this. But I guess if one is just starting, the totally new environment of this industry takes some getting used to.
If four hours sleep at night is enough to get me going through the day, four hours sleep in daytime will leave me groggy throughout the night – not to mention that I’ll be experiencing dizzy spells and all that. Somehow, being a night owl – for months on end – really zaps out the life in you.
The life I want is pretty simple. Read books. Write articles. Watch movies. And if asked if I get to do any of them, I must say, that it is only the second item that I really get to do. And that is I get to do it rather sparingly or I have to fight limb and foot to get any writing done.
Sometimes, I whine that I do not really get to write as much as I want; that there are a thousand ideas in my head which I don’t get to write about. Good thing I discovered that there is indeed a way for me to redeem the avail time at work to get some writing done. Maybe later, I will be able to discover a way to get some reading done. And at least, I would be living my life.
**Note: This was written during avail time. Haha! I rejoice at having discovered how I can generate articles after articles for my blog.