my shift has ended and since i am too scared to go home this early, i’ve opted to stay behind, sacrifice some sleep, and face the sun.
i have managed to move my blogs from multiply to this site which is not so easily accessed yet also is uncensored. a site that would allow me to write freely about what i feel without fear that someone would be affected by it. of course it is still public but then as my friend said, my self-disclosure is so high.
what am i rambling about? i really do not feel writing now. i feel like reading. and i know what it is that i would like to read.
they say it is good to have someone who will inspire you to go to work. someone to look forward too. someone too keep you going. and i know i owe him a lot for the time he spends with me. if he only knew.
but then i also know deep down within myself that friends are all we’ll ever be. i’ve tried to run scenarios in my mind wherein we can transcend to more than just friends and i know that that would not be possible – at this point, that is. and maybe in the future. it would not be possible because my system wouldn’t completely accept the thought of us. there could be no us. just him and me. friends. workmates.
oh well. i better get reading. i sure do miss him.