Author Archives: elleica

The fight has begun. The mind has awaken and put the heart where it belongs. The intensity is real. The mind was asleep before – in deep slumber – in denial. And so the heart was free to reign. Free to look. Free to imagine. Free to feel. But now the mind is awake. And all security forces strengthened. The heart cannot escape – must not escape. For it will endanger everything. And so it must be kept in check – behind bars – and in chains. He passes. The heart looks. And longs. This is war. The heart no longer coys but fights the raging battle within. Yet the mind is stronger. The will more powerful. Heart must not escape. Mind must win. It’s a dangerous precipe. Which one must survive.

mind vs heart

Challenges

Life challenges us in many different ways. Life throws us curve balls that we either avoid, catch or hit us square in the face. Life throws us bombs that could either make or break us. It’s just the way life was designed – a constant barge of challenges which depending on our disposition we can take positively or negatively.

I am an optimist to the point of surreal idealism. And so I view every single challenge as an opportunity to learn, to improve and to become better.

I’ve been challenged in various aspects of life – work/career, finances, spiritual, family and love. But of all these things, the biggest and most daunting yet may be in love.

I have my own battle scars from the “war” raged with love. War might be a too pessimistic term so let me mellow it down to fight. My fight with love has left me scarred – battered – yet willing to keep fighting. I haven’t succeeded I’m afraid but the fight is far from over. I have a lot to learn so it seems.

I’ve been in love to the point of foolishness and irrationality. Physical bruises, hurtful words and emotional blackmail are no match for the love I felt. Thankfully, I had enough sense to wake up to reality. I’ve been in love to the point of cold rationality. But love without the heart loses all excitement and ceases to be love.

Apparently, I need to learn the balance.

But this struggle (more mellow term) I’m in right now is frankly, in my books, the worst ever. After clearly denying, I am now forced into admitting. But admission is the first sign of victory. For where there is admission, there is acknowledgement of the issue and the resolution soon becomes easier to follow. 

Lord – I depend on you to win this battle. 

A Silent Ode to You

 

You do not know

And you will never know

That I have this ‘thing’ for you

Ever since I saw the inner you.

But circumstances won’t allow

And the timing isn’t right

For there to be a me & you.

And so I resign

To just be a friend

A friend close enough to be a brother

A friend close enough to be a sister

For friendships are better

Than commitments

For friendships last while commitments often don’t.

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