this by far is the worst love sickness i have ever encountered. i have waited for him to be online for more than a day. i haven’t heard from him in almost 48 hours. and during that span of time, i have cried and debated and thought and prayed about what i feel for him. and i have only had affirmative signs that yes, why not give him and myself a shot at love. after all, we are playing for keeps. or we are of that mind.
i kept chiding myself at my utter disappointment that he won’t come online. that it is taking so long for him to even inform me of his whereabouts. heck. i am not even his girlfriend yet i am already inwardly demanding to know where he is or how he is or whatever. tsk. so i had to chide myself to play it cool. just let it flow. see where the wind blows.
and now he is online. and he said Hi first. and that was that?!? sigh. i do not want to turn into the eager beaver or to mimic his eagerness before when he says hi and i do not reply right away. i do not want to keep asking, are you busy, or some other variation of the term. enough to suffice, i pine yet i hold back. isn’t that my role? but this is killing me. sometimes i just want to storm out and ask outright and demand outright and express myself outright. but i hold back.
and tears sting my eyes as the wait stretches on. i missed him i guess. hopscotch! what is this? what o what is happening to me?
i guess this is love staring me right in the face. the real kind. not the infatuated kind that i’ve blogged countless times.
err. he went offline. gosh. what is happening?
oops, i think you’re in love. hehehe. we sometimes hate to admit it but deep inside we just want the gates opened. well, out of fear, hurt or rejection, it’s normal to shut the feelings out. but just let it flow and enjoy the company. sure, we fear the uncertainties but the point really is we learn from the ride.
well i am learning to slowly let go.. if it fails then at least i gave it a shot.. as they said better to love and lost than not to love at all.
thanks for dropping by!
hmm.. i think judging by the comments i’ve received in this post, it may as well be really more serious than my other scrapes at love. i mean if you guys can really detect from what i’ve written that i’m in love then maybe i should start acknowledging this irrational feeling as love indeed.
for all my talks about taking risks, these has got to be the riskiest risk i’ve ever taken.
thanks for reading my blog. i’ll be moving to a new site soon.
happy new year ‘ya all!
inlababo pala si elleica. haha.
i always believed that love should be given every opportunity to knock in one’s heart, as cheesy as that may sound. the matters of the heart are, after all, as cheesy and as “baduy” as one can get.
so yeah, hope this sentemotional post leads to a cemented serious relationship for you.
happy new year po!
haha i support you and your love…love is such an interesting feeling, hm…maybe i need to love someone now ya, i dont really understand??ahaha
tsk.tsk.tsk..being inlove is the most wonderful feeling a human being can feel.. but it was the most weird feeling u can feel as well lol. but somebody told me that whatever it is “still a blessing” so im happy for u for being inlove..:)
=online romance? related much ahihihi=