This will be one of those general posts where I write everything in one single post.
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For the past days, my blog stats have hit an all time high. Thanks to two posts. But the creepy thing is, there are no comments, no referrers even. I am at a lost as to who are reading them. I won’t go into details on the stats, I told myself I would make a stat post when I am closing down my blog to move on to the new blog which I haven’t done anything yet! So suffice to say that for the past three days my blog has seen double or even quadruple the usual number of visitors thanks to two posts whose hits have been more (much more) than the previous all time highest hit the entire blog has ever seen. Creepy to think someone can be stalking me now. But why read only two post – one of them a sort of social concern post? Maybe these are all robots anyways.
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The LOVE issue. Sigh. I guess this is it dear readers. The time when my mind and my heart are meeting. Because already there is an internal debate going on in my head which goes something like this:
Why would you not give it a chance? Coz I am afraid that he may not be the one..the forever guy. But love is a risk..an emotional risk.. But I am afraid to take that risk. You will never learn to love till you decide to give it a shot.As I have read in a friend’s profile in FB
“If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear the pain of loss, then our lives will be empty, our loss greater” -Tanis/Tanthalas, Dragons of Winter Night DragonLance Chronicles
And as to the question that he goes to a different church, one of my respected churchmates told me that it is the faith – the faith that is important and we should not be legalistic about it. He gave me a very sound advice that quelched that nagging feeling in me. And his bottomline was that so long as I included God in the decision process, then God would be pleased.
So now, all that is left for me to do is, as another fave brother put it, is to go with the flow. Just chillax to all of these and see where it leads. And do have an open mind that there is a great possibility that he could be the one.
So I guess I’m ok now with the thought. I am free to love him after all. Even if we are not of the same faith technically. And yes, I am praying for him. But it is liberating to know I could love him – without guilt.
Now, if he could only go back online so I could quelch also these emotions of insanely missing him.
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I still have articles to write, but haven’t written coz I gut stuck with the holiday tide. Ah. The holidays, no matter how tense our holidays were, it does get the better of you.
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I still haven’t updated my own domain. Looks like it will take me the whole of January to do anything about it at the rate I am going right now. Sigh. I really want to get that up and running. Sayang binayad ko sa domain kung di ko pa sya gagamitin.
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Technology (i.e. Facebook) is so cool. I get to reconnect with friends, even former students who are now all grown up, and I get to greet them a Merry Christmas. Although my initial plan of writing on everyone’s wall backfired. There were just too many walls to write on (682 as of now) and my internet is lagging (due to the holiday rush perhaps) not to mention that my computer is lagging (due to poor RAM memory) and so I only managed the last of the F’s before I gave up and said I would resume near the New Year. And start with the G’s. And I think by that interval, many more people have added me up. I’m sikat kasi. Haha. Just kidding.
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Sigh. I just found out that all my hard earned money from all my writing stints which are deposited to Paypal are all liquid as of now. None of them are solid since my Paypal account is unverified. For me to verify it I either need a credit card or a debit card (one that is recognized and used by many is the Unionbank EON Debit Card which is for 35oPhp). So much for my plans to withdraw the modest sum and buy something nice for myself. Sigh. Feels like all the day’s hard work went down the drain. I am seriously considering taking the whole month of January off.
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Our Christmas was really tense. It was so tense we started eating the midnight meal with sad faces. First, dad was not home. He is working his ass off in some foreign country (music: I like to move it, move it. I like to MOVE IT! –> gets what country that is?). Second, my aunt invited us to go to their house for a “raffle” gift giving at 11PM. Of course this would easily lead to the Christmas midnight dinner at 12AM. So with all three of us there, who would remain with our mom here in our house? The computer no doubt.
So we decided, and our mom made a point we do, that we remain at home and just head over to our aunt’s (and lola’s) place in the morning. Of course it was a tense moment for all of us, having to explain to them through text in no certain terms why we cannot go there.
But by the course of the dinner we were all laughing. Thanks to my crazy antics and our playful banters.
Yes, reader, I am insanely crazy. As much as my posts are all too serious and my blog strike most people as too serious, I have a very, very funny and crazy side. Maybe more crazy than deejay’s of Good Times Manila who is now nowhere to be found. And that is why I like r** for with him I was comfortable enough to show this crazy side of me often reserved for my family only. Those not part of this very intimate circle called my family, only get to see the generally funny me but not that insanely crazy funny me. The one who all too willingly crack lame jokes, dance silly dances, sing silly songs and make silly faces and antics. But he saw it, he accepted it and he was equally as insane! So eventhough his nosebleeds everytime I speak in English, and with that knowledge I am confident he won’t be reading this, I still like him. He saw the serious me, the crazy me and even the paranoid me. But he still won’t come online so now I am seriously doubting his credibility. Tsk. Credit that to my ability to believe the worst in guys who seek my hand.
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There. I guess that is all I have to update. I still have 3 500-word articles and 3 50-page books I have to write about. And I am still in a holiday mood. Darn.
Update successfully installed. Please restart your computer for changes to take effect.
c/o my brother, Macky
